What Will I Tell My Kids About Sex?

WARNING: This post contains a frank discussion of human sexuality.  If that makes you uncomfortable, I encourage you skip it.

Confessions of a Licked Cupcake: Cars and Garages

It’s no secret I haven’t blogged lately.  For anyone who might still check in occasionally, I apologize.  I believe I am finally coming to some of the answers that have eluded me for so long, and while this is a beautiful, exciting thing, the imperative to blog has diminished somewhat.

Still, I am very interested in exploring my story.  I mentioned in a previous post that I wanted to start writing it down, if only to tell it to myself.  I’m spending this summer in a strange land and I’ve decided to use it as an opportunity to write.  I spend a lot of my spare time (and I have more than I’ve had in over 10 years) focused on this project.  I don’t know that I’ll ever be able to share the whole thing publicly, but I thought I might be able to post little snippets here and there for anyone who is interested.

This is an experience I had when I was seven.  I’ve filed it under “Confessions of a Licked Cupcake” because, you guessed it, it deals with S-E-X (a favorite topic of mine, of course!).  Don’t worry, it’s harmless and (hopefully) kinda funny.  Enjoy.  🙂

Confessions of a Licked Cupcake: The Fortune Cookie

I listened to Elna Baker’s interview on Mormon Expression podcast today and enjoyed it immensely.   Then I Googled her, and came across this:

Confessions of a Licked Cupcake: Episode #1 – The Twinkie Smear

I am pleased to present the first in what I hope is a semi-regular series of short audio interviews about LDS chastity metaphors for Young Women…

CONFESSIONS OF A LICKED CUPCAKE

(IMPORTANT NOTE: a podcast follows this brief introduction; scroll down to find it.)

After years of feeling traumatized by an entire adolescence filled with sometimes ludicrous and always uncomfortable sex lessons in Sunday School, seminary, and Young Women, I realized something extremely important recently:

Those lessons were damn funny.

And thus, this series was born.

Here’s the audio.  In Episode 1: The Twinkie Smear, my sister Jenny shares one of the most visual represenations of what-not-to-do-while-kissing I’ve ever heard of.  The whole thing is about 4 and a half minutes.  Click play and enjoy!

Why the Licked Cupcake?

The licked cupcake is a somewhat widely-used chastity metaphor in Mormondom…wherein the girls are compared to cupcakes, frosting is compared to virtue…and the moral of the story is that if someone’s licked your frosting, no one will want you.

Hogwash.

This is dedicated to all the licked cupcakes out there who feel helpless and alone.  Remember, you’re never so far gone that Jesus can’t re-frost you–and this time, you’ll even have sprinkles and a cherry on top. 😉

This post is one in a series.  Get the rest of the series here.