Confessions of a Licked Cupcake: Episode #1 – The Twinkie Smear

nocupcake

I am pleased to present the first in what I hope is a semi-regular series of short audio interviews about LDS chastity metaphors for Young Women…

CONFESSIONS OF A LICKED CUPCAKE

(IMPORTANT NOTE: a podcast follows this brief introduction; scroll down to find it.)

After years of feeling traumatized by an entire adolescence filled with sometimes ludicrous and always uncomfortable sex lessons in Sunday School, seminary, and Young Women, I realized something extremely important recently:

Those lessons were damn funny.

And thus, this series was born.

Here’s the audio.  In Episode 1: The Twinkie Smear, my sister Jenny shares one of the most visual represenations of what-not-to-do-while-kissing I’ve ever heard of.  The whole thing is about 4 and a half minutes.  Click play and enjoy!

Why the Licked Cupcake?

The licked cupcake is a somewhat widely-used chastity metaphor in Mormondom…wherein the girls are compared to cupcakes, frosting is compared to virtue…and the moral of the story is that if someone’s licked your frosting, no one will want you.

Hogwash.

This is dedicated to all the licked cupcakes out there who feel helpless and alone.  Remember, you’re never so far gone that Jesus can’t re-frost you–and this time, you’ll even have sprinkles and a cherry on top. 😉

This post is one in a series.  Get the rest of the series here.

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About Katie L

A doubter by nature, a believer by grace.

Posted on April 27, 2009, in Confessions of a Licked Cupcake, Good for Laughs, Mormonism and tagged , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink. 13 Comments.

  1. Hi Katie,

    Have you seen the very good Exponent Blog discussion of bad metaphors (including the cupcake)? If not, you should definitely take a look.

    http://the-exponent.com/2008/06/18/ways-to-not-teach-about-chastity/

  2. I love this post. You are a very funny writer and I enjoy your blog, even if you are now a licked cupcake yourself.

  3. Soooo I love you. You are a great writer. I also hated the offer a doughnut with a fly on it. So lame.

  4. Kaimi, I actually have seen that blog post. Loved it! 🙂

    Lanny, you’re totally just trying to get some. It will work.

    Trine, the doughnut with a fly?? Never heard that one! Perhaps I’ll have to interview you next!

  5. “Was she making noises”… LOL!

    Katie, I love you (and your sister Jenny—hey, I has a sister named Jenny!). This is a wonderful approach to these terrible sex metaphors. Can’t wait for the next one.

  6. Thanks, Jack. I’m glad you liked it. In fact, when I was editing the audio, I kept that “was she making noises” joke in there just for you. 😉

  7. Bwahahahahahahaah! Ahahhahahahahahahahahahahaha!

    I am teaching my daughters better than that.

  8. Wow, did I ever ‘step in it…” or “accidentally offer to smear it…..” I take it ALL (the offer, not the cupcake) back ..

    led astray by a pink confection….
    OK, I’m a slow learner , but I AM a learner

    GERMIT

  9. Germit, you rock. 🙂 That was a really funny exchange. Thanks for having such a great sense of humor about it.

    I’ll tell you what: one look at my once-tight but now-flabby tummy will tell you that I, too, have been led astray by many a pink confection. 😉

  10. What a great idea to collect these stories. Cupcakes do fuel our little factories. Hilarious.

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