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On Marriage, Metaphors, and What Being Mormon Means to Me

My relationship to Mormonism is like my marriage.

When I first married my husband, I thought he was one way.  Handsome, funny, vibrant, talented, charismatic, intelligent.

And he is all of those things — and much, much more.

But the more I got to know him, the more I became acquainted with his faults.  His inflexibility, his quickness to anger, his tendency to withdraw emotionally even when I need him.

It was a terrifying discovery.

Because as a young woman, idealistic and naive, I believed that love makes everything better — and that “better” means smoother, simpler, without stress or strain.

What, then, to do when I discovered that it was harder than I thought it would be?   That along with the intimacy and joy, I’d be fighting through pain, frustration, anxiety, even heartache?

If it’s really right, shouldn’t it be easier than this?

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